Good visuals excite me.
The beauty of nature mesmerizes me.
Memories of Pakistan nostalgia-te me.
Position of women worries me.
Chauvinists exasperate me.
Preachers of false dogmas enrage me.
Terrorism sickens me.
Extremists frustrate me.
Moral policing infuriates me.
The lost community baffles me.
Racism saddens me.
Political bastards need to get a life!

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Monday, September 6, 2010

Muslim Women and Non-Muslim Men, the Dilemma!





This post is incredibly late, but as some of you might know of the poll I did a while back regarding Muslim women marrying non-Muslim men, the results left me quite amazed. So without further ado, here is the screen shot of the poll and it's results:




I had put two questions on my blog. One, should a Muslim woman be given the choice to marry a non-Muslim? Two, Should a Muslim woman annul a perfectly happy marriage with a non-Muslim man? In an glance you'll find a majority-vote against the conforming view, which is of course, excellent. But even more of a surprising result, at least for me, is the vote cast by men.

Initially when I started looking into this subject, and of course my first point of attack was Google-search, it looked pretty glum. Fatwas by the randoms, blogs, articles and forums, all against Muslim women marrying non-Muslim men. I read views by Muslim women being all arrogant and sarcastic. Men being pretty much barbaric and talking absolute insanity. But between all this strictness I found tiny voices questioning the what-ifs.

I have to admit, people are still not comfortable with being open about their stance on the subject. I wonder what the results would have been had I enforced an identity-reveal to be able to vote. Then again, this problem lies within the entire Islamosphere. If you're saying something that does not align with the prevalent viewpoint, you HAVE to be anonymous with it. Quite a negligible percentage of people actually do go all out with their scandalous opinions, and we all know what happens then. *cough*ontherun*cough*.

Coming back to the actual results. First of all, I knew there would be women voting against question number one. But it was amazing to see how little the number of such women was compared to those who were for it. I also knew that there would be a hell of a lot of men against this. But it put a nice smile on my face to see an equal number voting for it. What is very obvious from these results is the proportion of men to women that conform to the norm *i-wunderz-why*. As for question number two, again, the result is very anti-conforming.

The dilemma:

I have a problem with these results though. Not that I wanted an opposing reaction. But rather why is this result so radically different than what real life has handed down to me? I am not going to question the need for anonymity, as that is pretty much understood, but rather how come it is so that a majority view is the silenced view? Some people are powerful because the rest give them power. And the more aggressive one group and ideology will be, the more will the rest seek refuge from it, or rather stay quiet and get on with their lives selfishly because no one wants unwanted and uninvited disruption. So is this the essence of modern day Islam? What Islam really is, is one thing. I've had enough people telling me to shut up and stop talking rubbish against Islam. Well honeys, who the hell is doing that? Let me correct those of you yet again, it is the culture and corrupt elite of Islam that I've honestly have had enough of.

Some of you may be wondering why I have lost my mind and taking the result of this insignificant poll to reflect the entire ummah of Islam? Sure I won't turn a blind eye to those having fun with the poll, but I can' turn a blind eye to reality either. In this journey of finding something fruitful, I've encountered quite a bit of insight into the working systems of our culture and society. And it's not pretty.

Why are we following something out of fear and not love? Why is this fear so strong that we are willing to live in inbreeding hatred and then take it to the grave? What has turned us into such cowards? Or is the sword of jihadis in our homes, mosques, neighborhoods, societies and this world so blunt that it is easier to kill ourselves with our own sharpened blades? Is Islam a system, or a way of life? Is hierarchy to be abused, or practiced to ensure everyone's protection? When they read there is no compulsion in religion, are they dyslexic and seeing something totally different? Or is it selective-dyslexia that is turned on each time a peaceful, inclusive and loving statement is encountered? What kind of insecurity is this that forces some to be permanently armed against those who just want peace? There is a heaven and hell ultimately, and a God for sure who will be making some final decisions. Then why are we already creating a hell on earth and making decisions that don't fall under our jurisdiction? Men and women who do good on earth to get their 72 virgins ... what kind of perverts are you?

Marriage is a union of two people where they come together to become each other's support through the thick and thin of life. I am not going to judge those who stay single since marriage is not a mandatory act, but having a sincere partner does give one a peace of mind. Everything on this earth comes in pairs, and so do we. So it is only natural to have these instinct of wanting a partner. What I am most certain of is that marriage was definitely not God's idea of making our lives a living horror. Unfortunately, today it is noting short of exactly that. There are lots of reasons for why that it so, but one of them certainly is the lack of understanding of the essence of marriage. It is not a business deal, not a way to pay for the harm you might have caused someone, not a way to gain power over someone, not to harass anyone, not to get rid of our daughterly burdens, not to conform to a society and neither to boost one's ego through getting the perfect catch. A marriage is to nurture healthy societies, bring a concept of respect, do away with a destructive and lust-oriented lifestyle and most importantly, make two people happy.

There definitely are lots of women who would not even think of marrying outside their religion. More often because they don't want to bring shame to their family than because that is what their heart truly desires. In comparison there are not many of those who choose to, or randomly end up with a non-Muslim. But the choice should be an honest, unadulterated and unforced one. Choices make up the very center of human character, and if these choices are heavily influenced, it is not resulting in strong people. And with the excessive freedom of choice, if we tomorrow find that a majority of women are choosing non-Muslim partners, then the Muslim men need to look into the situation and figure out why they are the lesser choice!

Muslim women in the West are growing up in and facing different situations today than their counterparts in the East. Different. Not better or worse. Their circumstances, their rights, and their legal strength allows them to make choices without falling into the trap of reasons that the Ulema give for them to stay away from non-Muslims. And all reasons aside, if this choice ultimately boils down to making God angry, then let Him talk to this flouting lot, and let Him punish them. Everybody else, please put your weapons away.

Those who oppress and those who succumb to oppression are both hell-bound.

15 comments:

  1. Conclusion: Muslims who both use the internet and visit your blog are more liberal?

    Besides, your sample ranged from 56-65: I've been in classes with more people.

    btw: the second half of the post had nothing to do with the first.

    I'll be kind and forgive you this time around. We all expect better.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Muslims who both use the internet and visit your blog are more liberal?"

    Technically, yes. But jokes aside, I can't help but notice this stark contrast of peoples' views when I encounter them online vs when I meet them in real life. But then again, online in quite an anonymous manner. If you go to a forum where people ultimately know you as as a screen name and then you've already said some private things on there that you then regret, then that is also not anonymous enough.

    I know my sample range is not too big on here for the polling, sorry I'm not popular enough as you ;) ... but I did try and connect with lots of people out of the internet as well that I haven't mentioned here, and .. well ... those are tricky answers and vibes.

    Thank you for your kindness. I'll cut down on my sedatives and concentrate on a full on conscious piece :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. The poll results are encouraging irrespective of the sample size. Good good.

    What Islam really is, is one thing. I've had enough people telling me to shut up and stop talking rubbish against Islam. Well honeys, who the hell is doing that? Let me correct those of you yet again, it is the culture and corrupt elite of Islam that I've honestly have had enough of."

    Spot on. In my view Islam is a universal religion and is here to stay till the day of judgement. Islam emancipated women and gave them an independent identity. Whereas, the 'corrupt elite of Islam' represent a distorted image of Islam to suit their own designs. They use Islam to gain power, fame and recognition which majority of them could not even think of in a secular environment. If anyone contradicts their viewpoint, they label them as heretics. There is a big plan (by religious elite) at work for centuries. The plan is to shut the voice of half of the Muslim population, women in this case, hence eliminating a potential threat to their designs. The rest, as you pointed, and rightly too, follow their 'perverted' interpretation of Islamic principles out of fear and willful ignorance. Take for example the case of Hazrat Ayesha's (RA) age at the time of her marriage with Prophet Muhammad (May peace, prayers and blessings be upon him). It is narrated that she was married at the age of 12. Now many Ulemas are hopelessly and without knowledge or logic are trying to defend this. They say that Arab children reach puberty at very early age because they live near the Equator. Alright what if I ask one of them to marry their 12 year old daughter to me if she has attained puberty. Can you imagine how would they react? Most probably i'll be killed mercilessly by them and their followers. However, the reality is completely opposite. How can one expect from Prophet of Islam to marry a 12 year old child? No logic or explanation can satisfy a sane mind. However, the truth is that Hazrat Ayesha (RA) was 17 at the time of her marriage. But out of their ignorance, many Muslims do not know this and are led into believing a fake hadtith.

    "Marriage is a union of two people where they come together to become each other's support through the thick and thin of life."

    Completely agree. Pairs are made in heavens by Allah Almighty Himself. As you said, let the Lord punish those who are 'sinners'. The best thing about Islam is that it has no clergy. Then who the heck are these ulemas who have gained such position that one cannot question their interpretation and fatwas. The biggest threat to Islam and the Ummah of Prophet Muhammad (May peace, prayers and blessings be upon him) is this mafia of ulemas, ayatullahs, muftis and imams(prayer leaders).

    The irony is that majority of Muslim women themselves have no idea about their position and role. They are happy slaves of their perverted, blind, deaf and dumb men(fathers, brothers and husbands).

    Whatever, Islam is the most enlightened, compatible, progressive and accommodating religion than anyone can even imagine.

    Anyway, your poll effort is commendable and your stance on contemporary issues in Islam is much appreciated. Let us burn their (ulemas, religious leaders) thriving shops together. Rock on.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you Shamyl. You're such a great support with your encouraging words, as always :) ... it's great to find this enormous think-tank of Pakistanis/Muslims that I was so foolishly ignorant of. Who says there is a lack of progression amongst the youngsters of Islamic? one just has to take the plunge and find this treasure. Unfortunately, yes there will always be those who will label the new thinkers as heretics.

    And you are so right about the women who stupidly accept their submissive role without knowing exactly who and what they are and where they stand. And that I guess is my biggest point of annoyance. If there is anything that ticks me off, it's gender-based hegemony!

    And the issue of Hazrat Ayesha. One of the most distorted issues on earth. There are so many stories out there about her age and whether there was consent involved. I just look at one thing. Had the Prophet (pbuh) not married Hazrat Ayesha, the Islamic world would not have had such a strong woman who became an epic for all women to come. Forget about what age she got married. Concentrate on what she was able to do while being the wife of the Prophet (pbuh)!

    "Anyway, your poll effort is commendable and your stance on contemporary issues in Islam is much appreciated. Let us burn their (ulemas, religious leaders) thriving shops together. Rock on."

    hahaha :D Let's burn them niggaz! :P

    ReplyDelete
  5. Emaan

    Thanks, respect and high five.

    Following lines are dedicated to all hate mongering fundamentalists (niggaz :D).

    Dogs of war and men of hate
    With no cause, we don't discriminate
    Discovery is to be disowned
    Our currency is flesh and bone
    Hell opened up and put on sale
    Gather 'round and haggle
    For hard cash, we will lie and deceive
    Even our masters don't know the webs we weave
    (Pink Floyd: Dogs of War)

    ReplyDelete
  6. i am a liberal muslim = i don't care about what the Quran says. i just care about what i THINK hah!

    ReplyDelete
  7. You seem like a very educated smart girl but you also sound like an Idiot by these kinds of posts. seems like you want your cake and eat it too. If you want to marry a nom Muslim then fine , its still wrong, You know who has been doing that, christian and jews for hundred of years , trying to change the law of God.once again It is what it is you can't change it, it doesn't matter what we think, there is no such thing as Liberal muslims. You are either a poractising one and a Non practising one . Period. try to use your intelleigence in some other kinda posts .

    ReplyDelete
  8. @Maryam at least I am using the machine installed in the top floor instead of donating it to my neighborhood mullah.

    @zee it's interesting how "the right path" is in fact a relative term that you don't wish to acknowledge. you will never be OK with me till i do what your dictionary describes as the "right path". let God decide whether me marrying a non-Muslim is really wrong or not. and till we get to that hearing, how about we learn to just exchange information without imposing it?

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am using the machine installed in the top floor instead of donating it to my neighborhood mullah.

    Wow!! what cool punch line. I need to copy paste this on my t-shirt. =p

    ReplyDelete
  10. Eman, if you acknowledge yourself to be a Muslim, I will be under obligation to call you going on a wrong way if you choose marrying a non Muslim. But if, on this blog you declare that you are not a Muslim, I will not disagree with your choice.

    I am wondering to see your concept of "rebellion".

    Dr. Farrukh Malik, PSP

    36th Common Training Programme
    12th Initial Command Course
    ASP (UT)/SP Investigation,
    District Police, Bahawalpur,
    Punjab, Pakistan

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have a special request to you! if you want to write about Islam then please write only after having complete information on the subject with references. if u have doubts about anything related to islam then goto www.askimam.org and u can find every answers to questions related to islam. You can also go to youtube & see Dr. ZAKIR NAIK explain with logic every single doubt of islam.:)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I hope this video of Dr. zakir naik will answer your question! :)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsDcpM-Uo9I&feature=related

    ReplyDelete
  13. "Why are we following something out of fear and not love? Why is this fear so strong that we are willing to live in inbreeding hatred and then take it to the grave? What has turned us into such cowards? Or is the sword of jihadis in our homes, mosques, neighborhoods, societies and this world so blunt that it is easier to kill ourselves with our own sharpened blades? Is Islam a system, or a way of life? Is hierarchy to be abused, or practiced to ensure everyone's protection? When they read there is no compulsion in religion, are they dyslexic and seeing something totally different? Or is it selective-dyslexia that is turned on each time a peaceful, inclusive and loving statement is encountered? What kind of insecurity is this that forces some to be permanently armed against those who just want peace? There is a heaven and hell ultimately, and a God for sure who will be making some final decisions. Then why are we already creating a hell on earth and making decisions that don't fall under our jurisdiction? Men and women who do good on earth to get their 72 virgins ... what kind of perverts are you?"

    This is what worries me. Here you are, a person claiming to be fighting for peace, justice and equality, yet you readily judge very single person in the Ummah!

    What do you know of Jihad and hell on Earth? Have you seen a mutilated body of a child lying in a street in Iraq after a so called 'anti-combatant' coalition operation? Or perhaps the child born without arms as a result of exposure to post Gulf-War depleted uranium shells? Have you witnessed the Afghan men carrying their dead wives in their arms still running from their burning homes? For your information, that's what incurs Jihad. Not some old fundamentalist Imam with a big beard who promises 72 virgins.

    I know, being a young, unmarried Muslim man, that all men are not perverted and don't dream of virgins. LOL. I am SO TIRED of people complaining about how evil, dominating, perverted, shallow and disgusting we Muslim men are, especially when I have never done any of the things we Muslim men are so often accused of (Zina, abuse, etc.) and all I wish for is for society to accept me and respect me for who I am. I really cannot relate to any of those things. One thing is for sure, I truly do not want a woman who judges me even before knowing who I am and my true character. I grew up in a western Muslim society and had many guy friends whom I knew well, and may be a maximum of 10 % were not practicing or fitted the stereotypical descriptions!

    As for there being no compulsion in religion, that is true. I have no problem with people choosing what part of their Deen (if any) they want to follow. They will answer to God, not me. The funny thing is that these same people who want to 'break out' of Islam's 'shackles' judge me and stereotype me for being too religious (have a beard, etc.), or too 'backward', etc, even though I have a PhD, am well respected in my professional circles by non-Muslims and Muslims alike and have many endearing friends from all faiths.

    My spirituality means everything to me and no one or nothing is going to change that. When choosing a life partner, I will look for the same qualities I strive for in myself. I will never go for a woman who in so insecure in her faith that she cannot look for and find the true qualities of a Muslim in a man. That definitely excludes all those Muslim women out there who seem to think they will find a better life with a man who does not believe in Allah in the first place. Call it freedom, call it choice, call it whatever, but they have lost me.

    ReplyDelete
  14. This is like asking a 6 year old child if they think that they should go to school. Every child will say no, but parents know better than going to school is in their best interest.

    You cannot ask the creation decide if the law of Allah works for them. Allah's law is clear in His INFINITE WISDOM.

    ReplyDelete
  15. This is like asking a 6 year old child if they think that they should go to school. Every child will say no, but parents know better than going to school is in their best interest.

    You cannot ask the creation decide if the law of Allah works for them. Allah's law is clear in His INFINITE WISDOM.

    ReplyDelete

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