Caught Between a Rock and an Immigrant Identity

While browsing through a list of shows, I happened to watch an interview of Pervaiz Musharraf. When talking about terrorism, the discussion went for a moment to the 7/7 London attacks. The host pointed out that a Pakistani man was also part of that attack and Musharraf went on to declare how that person was a second or third generation, born to Pakistani immigrants, Britisher. He himself and Pakistan has nothing to do with the acts of a national of another country, and the UK needs to take care of it itself. This led me to question, yet again, who am I and what is my identity?

Technically and legally that may be true. But how true is it really? Born-Abroad people I guess will always at some point (or all of their life) be caught up in this question of who exactly are they? I know I've been in a tug of war with it since forever. It feels like being in a magnetic field where there is constant pull and push.

Immigrant communities are nothing short of being as dirty as radical groups. Their radicalism doesn't necessarily lie in the day to day pulling out a of gun and shooting a flock of white birds, but more so like the politics of a jungle. The stronger members are fierce with keeping the group together. They do not let the youngsters get separated (willingly or unwillingly), and in the event of such an occurrence - has any one seen the Battle at kruger? Undoubtedly in the case of those buffaloes, everyone would applaud their courage and strength, but we are after all humans, and certainly different than animals. The game of will works differently with us. But coming back to the point of identifying oneself. Legally, yes that Pakistani involved in 7/7 is a Britisher and he is Britain's problem, not Pakistan's. But even so, culturally and emotionally, his association with Pakistan cannot be dismissed, even if he was a tenth generation immigrant. What is the reason for that? The activity and position of immigrants in a host country.

Immigrants are unique people with individual behavior that speaks volumes of their distinction from the natural citizens. Now this man may have never been to Pakistan, but because of his associations, he will never be purely British. But because of his British exposure, he will not be completely known or understood in Pakistan either. Considering the burden of his Pakistani immigrant community, he has more than not lived a very Pakistani upbringing. He may be walking around in England, but he comes home to a very Pakistani family and community. Depending on who he is walking with, he may have to be careful with restraining from areas where there are too many Pakistani restaurants. And after all this, if his personal tendency is more British than Pakistani, he is still unique and subject to racial stereotyping.

Migration is a very old human phenomenon, and inevitable. And as diverse and rich this planet is, it is aught to produce various kinds of people. God created one man and one woman only, the rest of us are a result of the processes and systems. This earth has a very deep impact on the human behaviorism. From people who build communities in the mountains to those in the flat-lands to those living close to water. Each element shapes us. We learn from, and find ourselves through the visual and non-visual metaphors of this earth.

"O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honored of you in the sight of God is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And God has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things)." [Qur'an 49:13]

So why is it that migrants and immigration and integration and xenophobia are becoming such nuisance?

" To each among you have We prescribed a Law and an Open Way. If Allah had so willed He would have made you a single people but (His plan is) to test you in what He hath given you: so strive as in a race in all virtues. The goal of you all is to Allah; it is He that will show you the truth of the matters in which ye dispute." [Qur'an 5:48]

Because obviously with each passing time we are becoming more and more destructive, chaotic, selfish and corrupt.

I got a little side-tracked there. But it's still quite important. Because one, we are no longer interested in knowing one another. Two, we are way too interested in and arrogant about ourselves. Everything else is stupid, nonsensical, and less dignified. This creates tension within a born-abroad person. He has first hand knowledge of people who are not his "own", and secondhand information over those he must identify with. He may develop warmer feelings with his first hand associations or extreme love for his fantasy - a distant, exotic land where the genes of his ancestors have shaped. In either case, the opposition is unhappy.

Integration is a funny word. Your parents don't want it. And the natural residents don't seriously mean it. So what is the freakin' muggle to do? If I am born in England, why do I still call myself a born-abroad Pakistani? I have a Pakistani passport too, so what is my legal destiny if I kill someone? I've had a very Pakistani upbringing that I absolutely do not connect with, should I feel ashamed of that? The President has clearly cut me off as a Pakistani. Are these feelings and connections controllable? Must humans be predictable? As God himself says, if He wanted, everything would be exactly as what we would perceive as utopia. But it isn't, and that is the test. Being different isn't a crime, that is what's keeping the times rolling. Being constant would have killed us all a long time ago.

Error 403: Forbidden Love (Disrupting Systems)

Alright. First thing first. The initial driver behind this slow regression from my blog was this exhibition that I was working on. Disrupting Systems was the 2010 Masters graduation exhibition of the Piet Zwart Institute of the Willem de Kooning Academy, and I was part of this. No, unfortunately just barging into an exhibition doesn't get you a degree, therefore, this reality still renders me an under-graduate. The exhibition was at the former Fotomuseum (future WORM) in Rotterdam between the 2nd and the 19th of July. It included works by four graduating students and about seven of the 1st year students.

Anyways. Of the four graduating students was Farrah Shakeel, an international student here from Pakistan, and with whom my interest lies. I met Farrah completely randomly through this monstrosity of the virtual web, as I have a few other nice people as well. Through our initial talks I got to know what she was working on for her thesis, and that kind of led me into becoming more and more interested in somehow becoming a part of it. It was very me-relevant; it was about the Pakistani immigrants in Europe, specifically focusing on women and this whole issue of migration and integration. We had lots of talks around this, and she was also concerned about the vastness of the subject, and mutually we sort of landed on a focal point that was interesting for the both of us. We presented the idea to her course director and the external juror, and it was super well received, and that is how I hijacked a graduation project :P ... oh well ..

Farrah recently married a Dutch man, and they have a beautiful relationship, not only together, but with their families as well. And for me, the reality is opposite. Those of you who've read my earlier posts can understand where I am coming from. Those of you who haven't, my life dilemma revolves around the marital choice I want to make as a result of my life experiences as opposed to my migrant parents and the strong bonds they hold with a country and culture they left behind a couple of decades ago. This is what brought us together: the desire of one, and the accomplishment of another. Of course the more ironic part stands the different worlds we come from, and for whom this should've been possible. So, bottom line, we combined this into a single project: (Pakistani)Muslim girls in the West and Interfaith Marriage, and called it:
Error 403: Forbidden Love.










The project is basically an effort to voice inter-faith marriage between Muslim women and non-Muslim men. To voice the hardship of girls in my predicament and showcase the cold attitude of my community - the Pakistani migrant community in Europe.

At the end. We received a really positive response. It was great to have met people who had a similar story to share, or were just glad to see this issue up. Of course, what I would've wanted more would be to have a larger Muslim or Pakistani audience. But seeing the kind of dull response earlier on anyways towards some form of an enlightening dialog, was disappointing. Nevertheless, I also understand why that is. Farrah's thesis Pakistani-Muslim Identity & Migration and the Rules of Interfaith Love puts further light on this. It's a very comprehensive, interesting and gutsy thesis, also since it's always nicer to read brain-tickling material about yourself from your own people as opposed to foreigners. Anyone interested in it can scream now.

The thesis covers the following topics: early migration, creation of Pakistan, Pakistani migration, first and second generation, Islam and the female, Pakistani women in love, interfaith/bi-racial issues, comparison of the issues Muslim women face as opposed to men, and the public view.

It is nothing new to say this, but it's never enough to do so either: a compatible partner is what makes a marriage work, not a single religion. A similar approach towards (whatever)religion, life and people is what will make a marriage last, not just the naive idea that the presence of a single religion will do wonders. Within religion there are so many divisions, people are so much more learned now, both men and women, everyone is so much more opinionated than they ever were, globalization has made it so much easier to coin one's own world view and live by that ... however on earth can you imagine to make it work just because some basic facts match? It has to be a lot deeper than that. It has to be a lot specific than that. We are responsible for the situation we stand in today, this multi-culti-ism that we've decorated around ourselves. Not that it's a horrible place to be at, but now that we're here, this is what we've got to work with, and have got to make it work. I firmly believe in the idea that whatever position we're in right now, at this very moment, is a result of a chain of events that has been happening from the beginning of this world. Sure we've encountered cross-roads, sure we had choices, but the choices made were a result of who we were becoming, what held more worth at that point in time. And here we are today. What are you going to do? Pull a stunt and make everyone believe we're back in the 1st century? That definitely ain't happening darling. But what can happen, is work towards getting the best out of what we have, make the right choice at the crossroad we are at today.

To see more pictures of the project you can click here.

I am an Immigrant, a Third Class Citizen (2)

(cont.)




The sun was going down fast. I hated winter for it winded back my curfew time. Zeenat and I were pacing fast, 2 blocks away from home. My mother had already called four times since I left school. Why did I feel so anxious about these calls? Zeenat was blabbing on about some girl in her breathless mode. Someone's sister was seen at a gynecologist by herself. Oh, alright, she was by herself - that's news!

"Emaan, tera dimaagh khraab hai!" Mother shrieked as I swiftly walked past by the kitchen up to my room, of course, not forgetting my manners of greeting her. I was in no mood for any meaningless gibberish - yeah, yeah, I'm thirty minutes late. "Janti nahi apnay baap ko!" O yes, I know my dad all too well.

All this nonsense drove me nuts. What interest we have in others' lives. How can we assume things about others, or make rules for others, when we don't know what it's like to be in their shoes. Parents know their children like the back side of their hand. That's what my mum always said. How is that possible? She is raising a couple of kids who are experiencing life and growing up in an absolutely different circumstance. How can she possibly empathize with what I feel? My other siblings are zombies, may parents have programmed them to be remote-control-responsive. My system didn't match with their software; I'm malfunctioning.

There are two kinds of people that the community must collectively ostracize: homos and flouting women. And in our community ostracism is not restricted to the word, it goes beyond and includes ridicule. Well women have it easier; homos just get thrown off a high place down to a stone floor, women get the divine opportunity to get beaten into obedience.

Islam is a religion of hierarchy. (Down with free markets!!) At the top is God, followed by the Prophets and somewhere in between them come the Books, which also come somewhere between the Prophets and mankind. Further down (in order) are the free believing men, the free believing women, the slave men, the slave women, the unbelievers, the polytheists, the adulterous men and women, and finally the homosexuals. So basically, the free believing men, the highest order of mankind, the ones who decide the life of the others, are like those kids in school who get told for the very first time that they are the day's class monitor, and almost immediately you see a change in their attitude: proper, chest-out, proud and very strict. After getting used to the post, they may learn the trick of power abuse. And this is where I get to laugh. See, I'm no apostate, still very much a believing woman. But these proud class monitors have to report to their superiors at the end of the day as well. While they go about their pompous business, with the special star on their chest, they are the ones who will face the harshest meeting with their Creator.

When people decide to migrate, especially when the decision is voluntary, they should understand the expanse of this decision. It is not a decision that simply effects the migrants, but also the recipient country and the children of these migrants. It is their selfish, non-accommodating, non-compromising , non-accepting attitude that creates problems of a larger magnitude. Their denial to acknowledge the new place, fear of losing their origins, leads to nothing but disaster.

As always, the disaster effects the women harder.

One thing that absolutely frustrates me is that religion is solely for the woman to follow. Everything good or bad she does is viewed through the minuscule lens of religion, or the working system of a patriarchal culture. Women are to wear a hijab, which is an instant giveaway of her religion, leading to religious discrimination and now public humiliation at the hands of conservative non-Muslims. What is a man's giveaway? Neither is his beard mandatory, nor a green scarf! His visual appearance is pretty secular regardless of whether he is living in Muslim state or not. Any religious get up is absolutely the man's own choice and he isn't looked down upon for a different choice. In today's world, not every woman takes a hijab, and it's quite culturally accepted. But when we sit down and talk about it, it's like a super g-force guilt attack.

As for love. Again. Easier for the Muslim man to fall in love in this non-Muslim state, since he is allowed to marry outside of religion. Love by itself is often considered an irrational state of mind. So it's alright for the man to be irrational and get away with it, but not a woman. The star on chest coming into play.

I love my Pakistani culture, I really do. And I thank my heritage to have made me a part of it. The problem is, that is not my only heritage. I have also grown up in one culture that is different than the Pakistani one. Grown up in a culture that is home to me. How can I be expected to behave different than what I see, experience, deal with every day and every minute of my life? How can I be expected to behave culturally Pakistani as a full time job when that's a country I've seen less than a handful of times? How can I be expected to act like Pakistani girls when my entire life is in a different part of the world with different worries, different feelings, different issues, different lifestyle? Why should my moral placement be thousands of miles away? Why is it wrong for me to feel more British than Pakistani when that's where I've grown up? Why is it that while still trying hard to maintain this balance, it's never good enough? Why is everybody thought of as robots that they must function the same way? Aren't we all humans? Is it not possible for at least one of them to feel different? I have my own heart, my own mind, my own eyes. Can't I create my own reasoning? Am I not solely responsible for my deeds? Why is it everybody else's duty to get me heaven? What if even they aren't doing very heaven-oriented deeds?What if they've got it all wrong? Isn't that a possibility? Or are we little totalitarian puppets and any and everybody is going around dictating what they have found right? Is my life, your life? Are you willing to go down for me in the end? If not, would you blummin' get out of my face and mind your own business, please!

Identity, Love, Marriage & the Female Muslim Migrant.

Source: http://thefarrahexperience.blogspot.com/

A lovely woman I met. She is arranging a talk this Saturday over the subject. Any and all around the location and interested in the subject are welcome!




I am an FOB*; an International student. My journey begins from a simple middle-class household in Pakistan, and arrives in the midst of the First World cacophony of the Netherlands. This journey has evoked several questions - from the bigger issues of the System crash to the more intimate and human worries of love. While everybody likes splashing their feet in the political ponds, I give my time to the tunnel of love and identity.

I want to open a dialog - an FOB vs an EBCD**. I invite you to share your views with me of your life as a Muslim dual-identity holder. I want to talk about the basic issues of love and marriage in a minority community. What are your challenges and how are they different than mine?


*Fresh Off the Boat
**European Born Confused Desi


IDENTITY, LOVE, MARRIAGE & THE FEMALE MUSLIM MIGRANT.

Venue: Piet Zwart Institute
Mauritsstaart 36,
3012 CJ Rotterdam,
The Netherlands

Date: Saturday, 5 June 2010

Time: 1500 - 1700 hrs

p.s. Please confirm your attendance by e-mail.

Aquila, For Stylish, Moderate Muslim Women

Reuters

















Women on top, eh? *chuckles*
I hope they are all enthusiastic about the context I am reading it with :D

Modest and Fabulous! That is the slogan of this new women's magazine, Aquila-Asia, that is being issued from Indonesia. Liana Rosnita Redwan-Beer (Singaporean), the founder and publisher of this magazine, launched the first edition just last month.

She says, We're not a magazine that preaches, we don't tell our readers what is right or wrong; but we help them live their lives to the fullest by including information about Islam in the context of modern living.

There's a fashion spread that features a heavily made-up model in tight-fitting clothes with a headscarf that still shows off a lot of her hair; another about the all-covering burqini swimsuit; an article on premarital sex and virginity, and an opinion piece on what to do if your daughter dates a non-Muslim.

From the looks of it, I'm quite drawn to it. It has a very modern, relaxed, and open feel to it. Should do good in projecting a better image of Muslim women than just being on the news because of the burqa-controversy. I would be interested in reading what they have to say. Though the article isn't really precisely giving out what side they lean on. Do they say yes to dating non-Muslim men? Is pre-marital sex not a taboo anymore? They are dealing with a whole bunch of issues, but I wonder if they aren't preaching, what exactly are they saying? Maybe they're just testing waters for now, and see what their audience is really like.

I am looking forward to this. As for now, it's thumbs up! Congratulations to your first edition.

Their facebook page here.

Do You Doubt Islam is Getting Out of Hands?

No. Islam isn't getting out of hands. Muslims are.

According to a 2009 demographic study, there are 1.57 Muslims around the globe, making up 23% of the world's population. Asia-Pacific with 24.1% Muslim population, Middle-East-North Africa with 91.2%, Sub-Saharan Africa with 30.1%, Europe with 5.2%, and the Americas with 0.5%. With a such a diversity of Muslims, following different cultures, traditions, languages, lifestyles, foods, dresses, and even different sects within Islam (Sunni, Shia, Wahabi, etc.), why is it that in the non-Muslim majority regions (Europe and Americas), it is one kind of Islamic format taking over, a.k.a Wahabism (Salafism)?

Who would blame the Europeans and the Americans if they are scared of what they see? The only people with some rationale, and those who don't brush all Muslims under the same rigid carpet, are the ones who have some travel history, and know better.

I admit that these are not the only kinds of Muslims there. But would you deny the fact that these are the precise Muslims that are getting voiced, and the maximum publicity? Perhaps just another media stunt to portray one kind of Islam, thereby validating Islamophobia, thereby having Geert Wilders supporters, ultimately having more than just handful who are genuinely xenophobic and agree to whatever crap is shown on TV.

Islam does use explicit black and white content about heaven and hell, good and bad, and so forth. It does seem/sound rigid. But if one goes in it, it isn't all that dark and gloomy as the Muslims portray it to be; especially the kind shown in this video.

I say it again, why do Muslims go looking for a life and livelihood in non-Muslim countries if just looking at a glass of wine is so offensive to them!? It is selfish of them. I say it loud and clear. They are hypocrites! Instead of such Salam Ahmed kind of retards, we need more peace-oriented, peace-infusing, love-infusing, tolerance-infusing preachers. I don't blame the followers of such people. They are scared of hell anyways, and when people like Mr Salam here bring it trifold onto them with their passionate speech of how they will burn in hell, they just follow like sheep - better safe than sorry they say. Better educated than sheep, I say!

There are 946,000 Muslims in Netherlands. 30,000 of them today are following this Imam in Tilburg. Maybe not a huge number in comparison, but considering the reinstated need to invoke the Muslim in us post 9/11, I only see it growing.

Islam calls for peace. Islam says, leave those alone who do not wage war against you. And if they attack you, smite them with all your force! And that is not unfair. What is unfair, is to wage a war without the consensus of all Muslims and the Muslim leaders.

Who asked me if they could go kill a dozen non-believers in my name? Who asked me if beheading Daniel Pearl is ok? Who asked me if they could fly a plane in to the WTC?

Nobody.