Tuesday, April 20, 2010
By Emaan at 5:24 AM
It is a phenomenon that isn't so wild, or out of the blue. Around the globe, many Muslim women are choosing to marry non-Muslim men.
When you type this query into any search engine, you will find results of three categories: first, soaking in Islamic sites condemning the act, quoting various verses and ahadith. Second, concerned parents whose daughters have married a non-Muslim. Third, concerned Muslim women who have fallen in love with a non-Muslim man and are trying a way to please their God, their family, and finally themselves. What a task!
Let's talk about the first, and most important category - the Islamic websites. I have to say, I have have gone through so many such websites, and they just look like copy/paste jobs of each other. No innovation, no thought provocation, just the same thing over and over again. The three famous quotations from the Quran are Surah al-baqrah (2:221), Surah al-Ma'idah (5:5) and Surah al-Mumtahinah (60:10). I know them by heart now practically, didn't even have to look them up. Anyways. Such website quote these verses, and also talk about various scholars of who said what, and I have to say, the words seem a bit disconnected. It sounds like: because oranges are orange, and apples and red, therefore you can't eat apples. Huh?? Another worrisome thing is how these websites half-quote the verses. They explicitly mention how a Muslim woman cannot marry so and so, but miss out on the part (which usually comes before) of how the Muslim men are also not allowed to marry so and so.
There are two words that are to be taken into account here: mushrikeen and kitabi. Of the three, verse 5:5 is the only place where the word kitabi is used, where the men are allowed to marry kitabi women, meaning women from the people of the Book. Verse 2:221 talks of the mushrikeen who are not permitted to either men or women of Islam. But nowhere is there a discussion about Muslim women not permitted to marry kitabi men. So is the Quran quiet about this? What are we to interpret from this silence? It is allowed but not encouraged?
I agree women can be weak, and give in to their husbands, which in case for a Muslim women could mean loss of her religion. But does Allah really rule out any intelligence or supremacy of a women? Does He really think I am not worthy or capable of keeping my stand and taking care of my rights? Maybe He thinks I can. But also knows that not every woman would be capable of that. Perhaps that is why He is quiet. He lets me decide for myself.
If Islam is about peace and equality, it should show through and through. Mere-mortal-men and so-called scholars have no authority to dictate like tyrants over women. They are eager to call for protection of Muslim women's rights by syaing they can't marry anyone but a Muslim man. But where is their call to all Muslim men when women are being mercilessly beaten at their hands; when their marital rights are violated; when men go about practicing polygamy without keeping in mind that there are rules that must be followed before they can even think of a second of third or fourth wife; when women are held responsible for every sexual titilation a man may feel; when a 2-day old girl is killed in an honor killing. Sex is not the only ingredient a man is created with. And sex-supremacy-power are the worst combination of human traits ... in this world at least.
The worst part is when governments are involved in, and are against rights for women. They think that family life and the sanctity of the society will deteriorate if women are given so many rights. We are nothing but child-bearing, mindless creatures, created for their sexual pleasures.
At the end, I think a Muslim woman has every right to choose a husband that she finds fit to her needs and liking. This husband can be of any color, race, cultural background, as long as he is a chaste kitabi, from the people of the book.